Paula Ritchie Wasn’t Dying
for The New York Times Magazine
In Canada a chronically ill woman ends her life with medical assistance, raising urgent questions about choice, care, and dignity.
On assignment for The New York Times Magazine.
Photo Editor: Kristen Geisler
Director of Photography: Jessica Dimson
Paula Ritchie’s life was shaped by childhood abuse, multiple suicide attempts, and a head injury from an assault. She lived with chronic pain and mental-health challenges but was not terminally ill. After a long and complicated process, Paula was finally granted the right to end her life legally.
On the day of her death, Paula’s friends tended to the table beside her bed. They had gathered objects that were important to her: a bible and a porcelain angel, a crystal, a scented candle, fresh flowers, and a clock.
Alongside two nurses and the doctor who would administer the medication, several people close to Paula were present, including a neighbor from Smith Falls, Ontario, where she lived. Each said a final goodbye before the doctor began the process.
The medication for Paula's death, carried in a traditional doctor's bag, took several minutes to prepare.
In the kitchen, Paula’s doctor assembled the injectable medications, including propofol, which he referred to as “milk of amnesia.”
Guests comforted Paula as the doctor returned with the medication. Once the process began, it would take only moments before she fell asleep and then died.
“I’m going to take Paula’s hand now." The doctor began injecting the medications into the line on Paula's right arm.
In Paula’s final moments, the room was quiet. Her childhood friend knelt at the foot of the bed, joined by her death doula.
Paula worried that dying would be painful. The doctor explained that once he began injecting the medication, she would relax and fall asleep.
Soon after the medication was administered, the doctor returned to confirm her death and make a note of the time.
Paula’s neighbor and close friend sat with her body for several hours before the funeral home transporters arrived.
Later in her life, Paula had struggled to care for herself. Her nails had grown long and bathing was a challenge.
As the sun set and each guest left Paula’s home, two of her friends remained with her body until it was collected. Afterward, they packed up the remaining chairs and left.